~ from the desk of ~
Jack Wayne Chappell for U. S. Congress 2nd District
720 Sawtooth #13 Buhl, Idaho 83316
Email: jackwaynechappell@hotmail.com
Phone: 208-410-9317
PRESS RELEASE
An open letter to friends and constituents.
This is a media release and political commentary, NOT a solicitation.
As some of you may know by now, I recently entered the race for the United States Congress in Idaho’s 2nd District. I am now, and have always been, a republican. I will be running, not against anyone, but for upholding the Constitution, and helping to solve many serious problems.
(Yes, I did twice run pretending to be a democrat, but that was just a pair of publicity stunts. Many of the democrats knew I was a republican posing as a democrat for the purpose of promoting my life’s work, which is to get books out nationally, and to attack socialism in government wherever it exists. Well, about 22% of them voted for me anyway, so {smile} we know that at least 22% of the democrats here are not socialists.)
Many people will be chagrined to think that a self-educated cowboy author would be so naïve as to believe that he has even a remote shot at unseating an incumbent republican who has a very large amount of campaign money to spend. While odds on winning this primary are remote, this communiqué is to better inform people of my real intents and purposes. There is no need for chagrin.
My profile (age, occupation, family, etc.) is at the end of this commentary.
But for now . . . .
Who is Jack Wayne Chappell, and why does he know he can win?
Why is he not asking anyone for campaign money?
I am a former cowboy who at one time had an extensive library. I have studied sociology and political science, and have read many hundreds of books on a wide array of subjects. I studied ‘The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness’, by Erich Fromme, and have read all of his other books. ‘Human Action’, by Ludwig Von Mises, all of Ayn Rand’s books, the Bible, the Book of Mormon, ‘Jesus the Christ’ by James A. Talmage, ‘African Genesis’, by Robert Ardrey . . . . many, many others, some of them very sophisticated. Yes, I am self educated, and have worked hard to develop some literary and rhetorical skills.
I am a fairly well know man in the 2nd District, and have sold over 60,000 copies of the manifesto titled ‘The Wilderness Rape’ since 1985. (If verification of this fact is required, I’d be happy to provide it.) There are several other good books on my computer, waiting to be published, as most of you know.
Over 20,000 copies of the manifesto were sold right here in Idaho, most of them in the 2nd District. I have been in all of the newspapers, on plenty of radio stations, and on many of the televised talk shows. I know how to work with the media, because I am in the communications and entertainment business. Enough people know me (or of me) in this area, that I don’t need any money to buy advertising with. I am a walking, talking advertisement (grin) and one who has a very solid sense of humor.
Because many people will immediately recognize my name when it appears on the ballot, I’ll pull a worthwhile percentage of the vote. Because we’ll be getting some wonderful communications out to the public . . . .
Even if we lose the election, we will win!
We can’t lose, because by simply paying a $300 entry fee into this political rodeo, we will automatically pick up several thousand dollars worth of free publicity. That’s good for you, good for me, good, for everybody. That increases our chances for success in our communications ventures, and it is also good PR. So that’s why I don’t need any campaign money. Although campaign money would help pull a larger percentage of the vote, it would never amount to enough help to assure a victory. I don’t need a committee to elect (although that would also help, and would be appreciated).
All we really need is a premium web site, and we are building that right now. I can drive all over the district and talk to people in person, work as many radio and TV shows as I can, visit all the newspaper offices, and pay my expenses out of pocket. I do have a palpable net worth, but NO credit and very little operating capital. People give me money every day, because they like what I am doing and want to help me get my literary works out nationally. Traveling and doing sales, I work hard for my money, and earn every penny.
Although I am perfectly competent and qualified to be a United States Congressman, my preference would be that the other guy wins, because I’d really rather spend my time doing the job that I am currently engaged in. And, I rarely hear a bad word spoken about my opponent. However, this next part is of major importance:
Jack Wayne Chappell knows many things that his opponent does not!
Will Rogers once said, “Everybody’s ignorant, just on different subjects.”
Now, if I poke a little fun at my opponent, please don’t be offended. I am not here to complain about, or to criticize my opponent. I am here to compliment and encourage him, and to provide him with some ideas that will help him do a better job should he prevail, and he most likely will.
So, if I make a few smart-aleck remarks, remember, we can’t lose, and now more than ever, the political scenario in Idaho could use a little comic relief, so please take the satirical remarks with a grain of salt, and laugh if you appreciate my sense of humor.
Again, I have not heard anything bad said about my opponent, and I have no intention of ‘fighting dirty’ so to speak. In fact, Governor Otter once told me that my opponent was a great guy. When Butch tells me that, I’m inclined to believe it, so let’s not be too rough on him, let’s help him.
I like satirical things to be clean and comical. While the incumbent politi-crat knows a lot more about dentistry, beltway politics, and how to screw over the American taxpayers than I do ~ (grin) . . . . I know a lot more about horses and cows and playing poker than he does. In fact, I probably know a lot more about the salmon than he does. I know what a phenotype is, and I know that our government is going about restoring the salmon bass-ackwards. I won’t elaborate right now, because I want to wait until I find out if my opponent will dare to debate me.
The other guy has no workable plan. Neither does Idaho Fish & Game or the USFW. Neither does the BPA. Their plan is to keep on doing the same old thing over and over and over, always expecting a different result. (Do you recall the definition of stupidity?) Their plan is to milk the American taxpayers bone dry. In a letter that Lt. Governor Jim Risch wrote me, he mentioned that government programs that don’t work should be suspended. I couldn’t agree more. Either restore our salmon runs, or stop spending billions on government bureaucrats.
Jack Wayne Chappell has a workable plan. By actually restoring Idaho’s salmon runs, Jack Wayne Chappell plans to put a hundred thousand ‘salmon saving bureaucrats’ out of work.
These hundred thousand ‘salmon saving bureaucrats’ (and yes, that’s an arbitrary number for humor’s sake) . . . (there could be a million of them for all I know) . . .
Anyhow, friends, these ‘salmon saving bureaucrats’ have no intention of saving the salmon, because if they did, they’d be unemployed. Their job is to perpetuate the problem, NOT to solve it. The last thing they want to do is save the salmon. They live in big beautiful houses and drive flashy cars, and thrive on the loot from the government dole. They are fatter than a bunch of ticks in the fall. And they want to get even fatter!
Now if we work together and work together well, it won’t matter who wins this election, we’ll have my opponent firmly on our side, we’ll convince governor Otter and Secretary Kempthorne to get on board, and we’ll shoot the lights out of the salmon saving bureaucracy. Sound impossible? It’s really very simple, and I’ll tell you how ~ if and when I am allowed to debate my opponent. I want that part to be withheld until we see what the media and my opponent want to do. If they won’t allow a debate, I’ll post the plan on the Internet.
My seven year plan for salmon recovery is drop dead gorgeous, and the biggest reason why I enlisted to serve my country as a candidate this year is because I want that plan recognized. And, I want to speak to an array of issues and provide some solid answers.
Whether we win the election or not is beside the point. If I pull 1% of the vote, that’s fine, if I pull 22% that’s fine, if I pull 51% that’s fine too. We all win, so long as my salmon plan is recognized. And I won’t squander any campaign money, because I really don’t need any.
I also want to speak clearly and concisely about the immigration issue. Most of my friends are aware that I speak conversational Spanish. Most all of you are also aware that if all the illegal immigrants packed up and went back to Mexico today, the effect would be catastrophic. A half million cows would be sent to slaughter, because there would be no one to milk them. They’d get mastitis. (The number ½ million is used figuratively for graphic purposes.)
Our farmers would be out of business overnight. We all know that, so let’s do something about it. “What?” you might ask. I’ll tell you during the debate (if there is one). If there is no debate, we’ll hang our proposals on the Internet for all the world to see.
Some of you might think that there has to be a debate. Well, not really. Unless I’m mistaken, the incumbent has no legal obligation to debate. In fact, an incumbent is often far better off to simply decline a debate. He has nothing to gain and everything to lose by debating me. So why would he? Unless the polls show that I’m close or ahead, there would be no need for him to debate, and those polls will take time to develop. If the polls by April 20th show me with a small percentage, he’d be foolish to debate me. If by April 20th I have attracted a competitive percentage of the vote, then he would be wise to debate me. But this doesn’t really matter. We’ll do fine either way.
Now, when we get our web site up, you’ll be able to point and click and find out anything about me and this campaign that you want to. All of my history will be there. What I believe in will be there, the issues I want to address will be addressed. And, since all of you have contributed in one way or another to this effort, we’re going to have a wonderful time this election year.
I want my opponent to know that I want to make this FUN! I wish him no harm, and am inclined to like him very well. And, you can bet that I certainly respect him. I really wouldn’t want to have to do his job, BUT, I must get my job done, and if I have to go to Congress to get my job done, I’ll be happy to.
Ya know, the other day I was talking to a farmer south of Wendell, and he said this: “I’m not voting for McCain because I want to, but because I want to vote against those socialist left-wing democrats. Just once I wish I could have a candidate to vote for!”
Okay, people. Let’s give him one. I’m asking for votes, not campaign contributions. The higher the percentage of the vote we earn, the greater our credibility becomes.
That same farmer also observed, “We all know there’s something wrong when you have to spend over a million dollars every two years to keep a hundred thousand dollar a year job.”
He’s right. We all know that. May God bless all of us, and let’s work together to defeat the Clinton/Obama threat.
Yours sincerely,
Jack
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Profile: Jack Wayne Chappell ↓
Age: 56
Born: 12/28/51.
Astrological sign: double Capricorn
Grown Children: Sgt. Newt J. Chappell, USMC, and Courtney J. Chappell, college student.
Marital status: Married in 1980, divorced in 1986. Never remarried.
Ethnicity: White
Military Service: U.S. Army Reserve
Occupation: writer/publisher
Title: Chairman, Futurity Arts West Company
Religion: Christian/Mormon
Civic Groups: American Legion/Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints